saintdoriangray:

So I haven’t been perusing through Tumblr for the past couple of days. But that’s because justrudeandginger invaded and something amazeballs is in the works. But that won’t be existent on Tumblr for a bit.

Anyways, Destiel!Beauty and the Beast: Castiel lives in some abandoned modern day castle or some shit and Dean and Sam are supposed to hunt whatever’s in the castle down. Dean and Sam had a fight or some shit and Sam went off to sulk in the bar. Ruby—his best friend/ex-demon—is trying to cheer him up through song. 

Dean is Belle, Sam is Gaston, Castiel is the Beast, Ruby is LeFou and everything is dicks.

Based on This Gif.

Like Sam! Lyrics (A Gaston Parody)

Gosh, it disturbs me to see you like this
Pouting with puppy face three
Yes, it perturbs me to have to do this
But you’ve had me watch too much of Glee

There’s no reason that I would sing to you Sam
No reason, but to cheer you up
There’s nothing else that I can bring to you, Sam
But I’ll tell you if you’ll just Shut. The Fuck. Up.

No one’s a behemoth like Sam 
Or hunts demons like Sam
At night no one keeps the girls screamin’, like Sam
There’s no man in town half as leggy
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Jo, Jen, or Peggy
And they’ll tell you whose hips they’d prefer to be on

No one’s sweeter than Sam
Or an eater like Sam No one else in town fixes space heaters like Sam
For a Winchester, you’re more than compensating!
They want a hunter like Sam!

Give five “hurrah’s”
Give twelve “hip-hips!”

‘Cause Sam is the Best!
And well Dean is a dick!
No one pouts just like Sam
Or goes down just like Sam
How I know that, don’t ask me, Just go with it Sam

And there’s no one as burly or brawny
Y’ see, you’ve got biceps to spare
And you used to be scraggly and scrawny
Back when half of your body weight was just in hair! No one cries just like Sam
No one dies just like Sam
No one is well *giggles* a oversized just like Sam
I don’t mean your waistline, but when you’re mating
(Sam: RUBY!)
Twelve inches for Sam!

When you were a lad, you ate gas station food
And gained never so much as a inch
But now that you’re grown you eat rabbit-esque food
And you’re the largest of all of the Wiiiinch-esters
Gosh, what a Sasquatch, that Sam!

No one shoots just like Sam
Is a moose just like Sam    
Is as beautiful in cowboy boots just like Sam
You use antlers in all of your decorating!
There’s no other guys, like Saaaam!

This needs to be on my blog for seven more years.